Sunday, February 10, 2013

How do I become a Dom?


I've been asked and also read on many kinky social websites, "How do I become a Dom?"  There's an easy answer and a more complex one.  The easy answer is you're either a Dom or you're not and know it.  The more complex answer takes more explaining.

There's the Dom in the bedroom only kind of Dom.  In everyday life this Dom may have a submissive nature toward others and in life's circumstances but feels the need to control at least something in his life.  So he controls in the bedroom.  And many times his partner is the opposite, that is Dominant in nature toward others and in life's circumstances but needing and having a desire to submit in the bedroom only.

Personally I couldn't live that way.  I'm not saying it's wrong or even strange I'm just saying it's not my nature to be one way throughout the day and in life and then be another just in the bedroom.

I've met a few Doms in my life who were want-to-be Doms too.  When I say want-to-be I'm talking about those Doms in kinky social network sites and clubs who are simply beyond strange.  I've attended a few BDSM and Spanking parties where I could almost instantly tell who the real Doms were compared to the want-to-be ones trying to act "Domish".  Is that a word?  Well, it is now.

So how to become a Dom?  For me, you either are a Dom or you're not.  Now I'm only giving my opinion and others may disagree.  That's fine to have a different opinion other than mine.  I think one can discover that they're a Dom but I'm not so sure you can become one.  I come from a time when the husband, dad, was the HOH "Head of the House" so mine was learned behavior.  Today, there are fewer households raising children with a father and mother and fewer with the father as the HOH.

 

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