As a spanker in a DD relationship I find my self walking this line between abuser or Loving Disciplinarian. I believe I have a great deal of empathy for others and when I see a behavioral problem with those I have authority over I do a great deal of contemplating as to what would be the most effective way to correct the behavior.
To me, it's not always a spanking. I don't see myself as the ultimate judge and executioner for every behavioral problem my wife seems to have and then decide on a daily basis that a spanking is in order. To always bring myself back to zero so I can weigh each situation clearly I recall my wife's thoughts and feelings on her getting spanked. To paraphrase she doesn't like them but recognizes that for her they are necessary because she needs help to focus on things. She gets all consumed with something and then everything else is left undone. This wouldn't be a problem if it happened once or twice a week but with her it's literally a daily thing.
I have no desire to hoard over my wife with a belt and seek out reasons to spank her. However, I don't really need to seek out reasons because the reasons are all around me. If I let them go too long then I get frustrated by what she's doing or not doing and then I'll throw my hands up and say, "I'll just do it myself so it gets done." I do that because of that fine line. But I am reminded that she understood full well that I'm a spanker and WE did agree there would be, and are, set rules.
Being firm and consistent isn't being hoarding and abusive so I've decided that's what needs to happen for awhile so she can get back to a productive schedule and be able to deal with drama, both small and large, and keep chaos down to a minimum.