There are those who would say that spanking is hitting. I totally disagree with that idea. I can't imagine hitting with my fist or slapping someone. I could do that in self defense if I had to but I couldn't conscienceless hit someone out of anger. Perhaps that's where people are confused about spanking?
To me spanking isn't out of anger and I don't spank to release any anger. I am human and I do get angry from time to time but I never use spanking as a way to release anger.
When it comes time for her spanking my wife knows she deserves it. She doesn't jump for joy about it but knows she has it coming. Left on her own she knows she wouldn't get certain things done. Spankings are her incentive, or perhaps not getting the spanking is her incentive. I'm not perfect so I don't expect her to be either. Her conscience will tell her that this or that should be done or cleaned up and many times it's not a thought of "I'll get spanked" but simply that it needs to be done. From time to time she will recognize that she's not getting something done and she simply needs incentive.
Spanking to us is simply part of "love" to us. That may be hard for the rest of the screwed up world to understand but not to us.