One of the main things I am always working on is to NOT masturbate. The desire comes up daily and I have to tell myself that that's what my wife is for. And I don't mean it in a negative way. Her desire is to please me sexually whether it's a handjob, blowjob or me fucking her so it's hard for her to walk afterward.
I'm in control of that and need to simply tell her it's time. If she's out watering the lawn when I get home from work then she wants me to point into the house to let her know I want her. She's good a so many things but not when it comes to interpreting what I want sexually and when I want it. So it's best for both of us for me to direct and instruct. We both get satisfied and she doesn't have to go through the formidable task of trying to figure out the when and how.