Anger is a legitimate emotion. That is, it's okay to get angry, what's not okay is when anger turns into abuse or violence. There are many people out there who can't control their anger. When they get angry they become abusive. After the abuse they will ALWAYS blame their anger on the person they've abused. It's their cycle, or pattern.
If my wife keeps doing something that's she knows she's not suppose to do, and keeps getting spanked for it, after awhile I tend to get frustrated. There have been times when I give that "look" and she knows I'm upset, or angry, but I NEVER put her across my lap when I feel that way. I've always got to walk-it-off so to speak. I rationalize it over and over and think about what's causing her behavior. Why isn't it sinking in?
99% of the time I discover that there's something else going on. There's something distracting her and she's more focused on that than she is on not doing something she should. If what she's been focusing on is a legitimate concern then I do give her slack. If she's focusing on something that isn't legitimate then it's spanking time.
For example, she has this phone that pretty much does everything. Someone showed her a "Bakery" application and another similar one and she got caught up in that to the point where she was neglecting things around the house. It took a few spankings for her to watch how much time she spends on the app and she's getting better, but at times she still gets carried away.
There are other times when she hears bad news about someone in the family, or a friend, and it can put her off track. I understand why she fails to get something done when there is that kind of interruption for her getting something done.
My point remains "Never Spank when you're angry". If you have to walk away for a time, do it. Find out what may really be going on. Are you also angry because of something that happened to you that day and it really has little or nothing to do with your wife, or with what she's done or not done.