Once I accepted spanking as normal for me and a normal lifestyle for my lifestyle it seemed spanking was going on everywhere. Back then there were very few companies doing authentic and real spanking videos. Some companies were doing stupid pretend videos that board the hell out of me. But companies like Nu-West had it together. Their acting needed work but the spanking were real.
My second marriage ended sadly and I won't go there but after I was willing to date again it seemed easy enough to date women who were already into spanking or had no problem being introduced to spanking. And I'm talking pre-internet too.
The key, for me, was to stick with what I wanted and knew I couldn't live my life without. In other words not settling for second best, just the fantasy. To me spanking isn't fantasy it's my lifestyle.
When I started dating a women I wanted to know right away what her views were regarding HOH and a DD relationship so I'd casually through into the conversation how I read about a husband or boss who spanked his wife or secretary. Believe me there's always a way to put that in somewhere. If the answer back from her was, "He should go to jail." or something along those lines then it was time to move on. If her reply was along the lines of, "She might have deserved it." or "I wonder what she did?" Then it's more than likely she agrees with the lifestyle.