Saddle Sore Sundays

Taylor's well spanked bottom is a good example for us to start off our series "Saddle Sore Sundays". 

Understanding the dynamics of spanking

It seems there are more people into BDSM than just spanking, or Domestic Discipline.  To me BDSM is more of a play fantasy escape that couples or people share from time to time.  I think if you say you're into BDSM it's safer than saying you're into, or participate in Domestic Discipline, HOH, spanking.

I've talked to a lot of Spankers and spankees over the years and many still don't understand the dynamic of spanking in context with Domestic Discipline.  Many will have this idea that it's abuse.

Every couple, when getting married, take vows.  The promise to do this and that and so on and so on.  They've most likely had many talks with each other about how their married life will be, or at least dream it will be.  There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of couples out there who took their vows and agreed on a great deal of things that would and wouldn't happen in their marriage but had know idea that their spouse would get drunk and beat them regularly.  Or that they had an anger problem and would take out their anger on them and the children.  The list can go on and on.

So, when my wife and I first got together it was understood that I spanked.  She agreed with my philosophy that from time to time a wife needed to go across her husband's lap for more than just one reason.  Believe me, my wife is a strong independent woman and if she didn't want to get spanked she would be able to fight it.  Since, I don't believe in physically taking her across my lap it is something she has to submit to.  In other words, I either send her to our room and tell her I'll be in there shortly.  In which she bares her bottom and waits for me to come in and administer her spanking. Or I will tell her I'll meet her in our room.  In that case I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, she comes in and strips from the waist down and puts herself across my lap for her spanking.   Neither of us see NO abuse there.

In addition, for me, each time that happens I gain a tremendous amount of respect for her.

Noticing her avoidance to getting spanked!

It's been clear lately that my wife doesn't want to find herself in this position in the kitchen.  She doesn't mind being bare from the waist down because she knows I enjoy her being like that.  However, she doesn't like that spanking that can come with a kitchen that's not kept up.

I give her a lot of credit for doing her best to stay on top of things. I notice her effort and appreciate her very much.  She's even seeing other things that need to be taken care of and working on those things too.  The carpet for example is seeing a lot more vacuum cleaner usage and she's making a serious effort to keep the couch clear of miscellaneous items that should be put away.

Spankings are the Great Motivators for wives!

There have been a few things around the house that are in need of my wife's focused attention.  Over the years I've discovered that when I merely hint that something needs to get done, and she knows it's something she's been putting off, she starts getting it done.

She has a strong desire to get things done but allows other things to get in the way to distract her.  Soon there's this little thing that didn't get done and then that thing that gets put off because this other thing happened.

Over the years I've watched her add things to her schedule, or routine, that gives her an excuse for not getting something else done.  She has a way of putting things off and it takes putting her across my lap, baring her bottom and making her wish that she hadn't put things off in the first place.

She hates getting spanked but she also agrees that she needs the spanking.  Spankings are the great motivators for wives and that's not just my opinion it's hers too.

The Fine Line between Abuser and Loving Disciplinarian!

As a spanker in a DD relationship I find my self walking this line between abuser or Loving Disciplinarian.  I believe I have a great deal of empathy for others and when I see a behavioral problem with those I have authority over I do a great deal of contemplating as to what would be the most effective way to correct the behavior.  

To me, it's not always a spanking.  I don't see myself as the ultimate judge and executioner for every behavioral problem my wife seems to have and then decide on a daily basis that a spanking is in order.  To always bring myself back to zero so I can weigh each situation clearly I recall my wife's thoughts and feelings on her getting spanked.  To paraphrase she doesn't like them but recognizes that for her they are necessary because she needs help to focus on things.  She gets all consumed with something and then everything else is left undone.  This wouldn't be a problem if it happened once or twice a week but with her it's literally a daily thing.  

I have no desire to hoard over my wife with a belt and seek out reasons to spank her.  However, I don't really need to seek out reasons because the reasons are all around me.  If I let them go too long then I get frustrated by what she's doing or not doing and then I'll throw my hands up and say, "I'll just do it myself so it gets done."  I do that because of that fine line.  But I am reminded that she understood full well that I'm a spanker and WE did agree there would be, and are, set rules.

Being firm and consistent isn't being hoarding and abusive so I've decided that's what needs to happen for awhile so she can get back to a productive schedule and be able to deal with drama, both small and large, and keep chaos down to a minimum.

A Spanking Novel by Ron Edwards

My wife would be the first to admit I have a very active imagination.  Over the years I've come up with a lot of ideas on a book that I've been wanting to write.  Of course it's about spanking but it's also part science fiction with true life events mixed in.  For those of you readers who might be interested in purchasing my book I've wondered if you'd rather buy it in short excerpts or buy the entire book at once.  I'd really like to hear from everyone having an opinion.

The 'Christian' movement that tells husbands to SPANK their wives 'to correct misbehavior'

By Ashley Collman
 
A growing number of married American couples are agreeing to allow husbands to keep their wives 'in line' by taking to corporal punishment.

The trend is called Christian Domestic Discipline and much of what is known about the practice is published on the website Learning Domestic Discipline, published by husband and wife CDD duo, Clint and Chelsea.

The website states: 'It is an arrangement between two adults who share the belief that the husband is the head of the household and with that position comes the right to enforce his authority.'

Clint and Chelsea have also written a 50-page packet on the practice called Beginning Domestic Discipline.

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Manifesto: Learningdd.com is a source of a lot of information on the new painful Christian trend

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Discipline: In CDD, husbands spank their submissive wives in order to correct misbehavior

In the packet they describe CDD as a ‘practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of household (HoH) takes the necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic.’ 
That translates to all methods of punishment, not exclusive to spanking. Clint and Chelsea advocate lecturing, removing privileges, corner and bedroom time – essentially the ways most people discipline their children.
For CDD enthusiasts, this type of punishment isn’t sexual in nature.
Vera (anonymous last name),  who is in a CDD relationship with her husband told The Daily Beast that the practice is in no-way sexual.
'The pure CDD people don't go there. A lot of folks think of Fifty Shades of Grey - but this is not that.’
Spanking is clearly the bread and butter of this kind of relationship. Eighteen pages of the CDD manifesto are dedicated to spanking and how to properly go about administering spanks.

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Tools: A hairbrush is one of the listed items sanctioned for spanking on in the Beginning Domestic Discipline packet

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Paddle: A wooden spoon is another spanking tool. In the packet, Clint and Chelsea warn that one of the cons with this tool is that it 'can break easily'

Clint and Chelsea talk about all aspects of spanking such as the ‘awkward’ first spanking, the various tools that can be used to administer the spankings, what position the wife should be in and the pros and cons of spanking over or under clothing. 
Corporal punishment at home obviously leads to questions about whether or not this is domestic abuse. Clint and Chelsea stress in their packet that CDD should only practiced by consenting adults and that the HoH should never punish while angry.
‘If the HoH becomes angry, they must do whatever it takes to get themselves back to a calm, reasonable, rational, level-headed, and collected state before making any decision or carrying out any punishment.’
But as evidenced on many forums dedicated to CDD, the practice has turned violent in cases.
‘I wanted the spankings to stop and my husband told me it was either DD and marriage or divorce. I chose divorce. I couldn't handle the pain of spankings anymore, emotionally or physically,’ a woman named Michelle wrote on a popular CDD blog found in reporting by The Daily Beast.
What’s scarier is how little fear is expressed in these forums.
XOJane writer Laura Rubino investigated the issue and trolled the internet looking for horror stories but was surprised when she ‘didn’t find as many of those as I was expecting to.’

 

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'Most of the women who write about their CDD experiences online are not complaining. Many of them report feeling extremely calm and relaxed after being disciplined, and believe it is an expression of their husband caring about them and their marriage, enough to help them modify their behavior,’ Rubino said.
The punishment, Rubino said, offers these women a clean slate and they don’t have to worry about passive aggressive tension after a fight.
While many of these women rave about CDD, it’s not something that Rubino would voluntarily sign herself up for.
‘Walking around my own home, conscious of the fact that any perceived transgression could result in physical pain and a surrendering of control of my body? That would stress me the f*** out. I don't find that sexy at all. Scary, yes. Hot? Not so much.'
Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who has written a book on abuse in Christian homes, agrees. 
‘No fool in his right mind would but this as a legitimate way to have a relationship. A relationship that infantilizes a woman is one that clearly draws a more pathological group of people.’
Even conservative Christians aren’t behind this trend. Radio host Bryan Fisher told The Huffington Post that he finds no basis in Christianity for such a relationship. He described the trend as ‘horrifying,’ ‘ bizarre,’ ‘unbiblical’ and ’un-Christian’.
'God in the New Testament clearly asks wives to arrange themselves under the leadership of their husbands (in Greek, the word 'submit' means 'to arrange under.') But there is no place where husbands are instructed to make their wives do it or punish them if they don't.'

Read more:

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2346393/The-Christian-movement-tells-husbands-SPANK-wives-correct-misbehavior.html#ixzz2uR2BC6HF
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Being Dominant!

For me, being dominant isn't really a matter of choice, it's simply part of who I am.  I'm also sensitive, caring, loving, artistic, philanthropic and so much more.  All of us have many sides or parts that make up who we are.

For me, being dominant isn't being domineering either.  My father was domineering and that led to an unhealthy fear of him.  My dominance is more benevolent. 

I've met a lot of dominant men throughout my life who were far more domineering in the unhealthy sense than in the benevolent.  Those who dominate through fear do so because they seek control.  In part to control others but more so to have control in their lives.  The truth is that their lives are more out of control and the more out of control the more domineering they are to others.

My dominant personality is centered more on equalizing moments of life than it is in controlling anyone.  My wife, for example, has an unbalanced life.  She gets caught up in the moment and before she realizes it that moment has turned into hours.  The result is that she spent a lot of time on one thing and no time on other things that should have been given her attention.

What helps her a great deal is the reminder that she needs to spread out her time and do other things and not just focus all her attention on the one thing.  Her reminder is a good sound spanking.  It reminds her before the spanking by thinking about what she did or didn't do that got her to the point of the spanking.  It reminds her as she's getting spanked when I bring up what she failed to do as I'm spanking her.  It reminds her after the spanking when she sits down and she things about how she could have avoided the spanking if she would have simply completed other tasks rather than let them go.

Being dominant means a following through with what needs to be done too.  For me it's only natural that I'm dominant and my wife is submissive to me.  That is how she sees it too.  If we were both dominant our life together wouldn't work and if we were both submissive that couldn't work either.  For me being dominant is like breathing.

Surprise is the best method!

I've found it best to not tell my wife she has a spanking coming but instead just lead her to our bed room, bare her bottom and start spanking.

Today's pleasant surprise!

I really enjoy coming home, after a long day at work, to a clean house.  For me, the instant you walk in the door says it all.  If the living room is a mess and not vacuumed it sets the stage.  I got home and the living room was picked up and vacuumed and I was wonderfully surprised.  I'm sure my wife likes it picked up and clean too but I must admit I wonder if she did it because she likes it that way or because she thought she would get spanked otherwise.  Either way is good to me!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

A few weeks back I had a comment from an anonymous viewer, reader, of this blog so I posted the comment.  She was obviously not a supporter of spanking in anyway and gave her two cents about how much of a jerk I must be and how little of a man I am for spanking my wife.  She gave her opinion on what things I should do and how I shouldn't spank.  I didn't comment on her opinion really I just posted it and let her have her say.  But now it's my turn to say a few things.  I haven't gone back to the comment to read it because it says a lot of things that are "assuming" something is or isn't the way it really is so she's, to me, just speaking out of her ass!

I believe that my wife would be the first to tell you that from time to time, or even more than that, she needs a spanking.  She would also tell you that I don't go around looking for reasons to spank her either.  She would probably say the reasons are right there in front of you.  lol

I believe she would tell you that I have a great sense of humor and that I don't get into moods were I'm a tyrant and selfish about my wants either.  She knows I want to walk into a clean house.  I want to walk into a clean kitchen, bathroom and bedroom.  She wants the same thing too.  She knows I simply want some order to things.  Her biggest challenge isn't not wanting to clean or do certain things it's organizing her time.  She starts one thing and takes too long in doing it because she gets caught up in it and before you know it other things she wanted and needed to do didn't get done.

She would be the first to admit that it's the spanking, or spankings, that help keep her on track with what needs to be done.  It's her incentive.  She doesn't want a diamond ring, fancy clothes, brand new cars, etc., so getting her those things aren't a reward to her for cleaning the house or an incentive in achieving order in her life.  

It's our agreement, her getting spanked and me being the HOH.  Why do people have to leave nasty comments regarding how THEY think someone they don't even know should live their life?  I'm not by any means a fan of the woman being the HOH and the man being submissive but I don't go around to blogs where that relationship is practiced and leave nasty comments.  What's the point?

So, it's about that time for my wife to get another round of spankings for things she's not done lately.  When you start reading about them understand that she has free will and if she thought for a second she didn't deserve them or that I was abusive and unfair then she simply wouldn't get across my lap. 

 

A good wife, a good spanking!

Usually it takes a minute or two into her spanking before there's much of a fuss.  A fuss might be my wife simply getting louder vocally as the spanking goes on.  This time she was a bit more emotional because the parking tickets turned out to be more than we were told because of extra fees.  Plus the time, gas and extra trouble it took to get to the court house.  

She certainly got spanked and it was sound but this time she was crying 20 seconds into the spanking and by a minute she was putting her hand back to protect her bottom.  This is something she's never done before so I didn't see it a rebellious and trying to get out of the spanking.  The crying and the hand back there was telling me she was REALLY sorry and also emotional.  I kept going but didn't make the spanking as long and as hard as I have in the past and the next day she suggested we finish the spanking because in her mind it wasn't has hard and long as it should have been.

That's another reason why I love her.  But the fact is it's over.  She was spanked emotionally and then physically so there's no need to spank again for her tickets.  I just don't want to see unpaid tickets, or tickets again.

UNPAID PARKING TICKETS?

So, I go on line this morning to update the License Tabs on our car but discover I can't because of UNPAID PARKING TICKETS!  I know they're not MY parking tickets and since no one else drives the car except my wife it must be her.

Now we not only have to pay for tabs but can't get the tabs until we pay for parking tickets.  I think a good morning spanking is totally in order this morning.  Since my wife gets up and goes through her emails first thing I'm sure she will see this also.  So, I will be expecting her to text me when she's ready for her spanking this morning.

Into Spanking?

Some years ago, before the internet, texting and even before the average person had a cell phone dating was a bit different in many respects.  Today if you have "kinky" tendencies you can go to a variety of sites and seek out someone who thinks and feels the same way.  Back in my early years of dating it was next to impossible to find out if the woman you were dating or wanting to date was into spanking or not.  You would learn different ways of finding out, eventually, but that process was sometimes long and arduous.

There were a few women who I dated and expressed my feelings regarding spanking.  Their reactions were very similar in that they felt that because they weren't into spanking, whether DD, HOH or just for play, that I could just push an "off" button and not be into spanking myself.  Boy were they wrong.  And the few times I tried doing just that, turning off the spanking button, I found out I was wrong too.

The fact is that you can't force a spanking on anyone who doesn't want one, I mean really you can't.  I recently gave a butt blistering spanking to a submissive, which I filmed, who had some interesting things to say about spanking.  She likes being spanked, and soundly, for a variety of reasons I won't go into and when I told her my wife gets spanked because we're in a DD, HOH relationship but she, my wife, isn't INTO spanking she laughed and said, "On, she's into spanking or you wouldn't be able to spank her."

It took a few days for that to sink in and register but I've come to realize that she was right.  My wife isn't into spanking when it comes to the pain of getting her bottom bared and spanked.  She's into spanking in regard to submitting to my authority and being punished for something she didn't do or did do and wasn't suppose to.  If I tell her in the morning she's going to get spanked she dreads the rest of the day until she gets spanked so I now bring it up 30 minutes or so before so she doesn't go through the anxiety.  If she wasn't into spanking there is no way I would be able to spank her.  I doubt 5 grown men could pin her down and spank her against her will.

And that's what it really comes down to is her free will to submit.  It's noticeable to me, after every spanking she's gotten, that there's a change in her attitude.  It isn't an "I'll just got my bottom blistered and I hate you," attitude.  It's more of a "Thank you for being a man and HOH and giving me what I needed," attitude.  In many ways it's an affirmation that I still love her and care about and for her.  I love my wife for so many reasons and her spankings are icing on the cake for me on so many levels.      

A good spanking cleared some things up.

I don't feel I'm a demanding person but when some things aren't done then a bottom gets bared and spanked.  When I got home last night, after work, I discovered that a few things I had asked to be done weren't even started, namely dinner.  My wife quickly admitted that she lost track of time doing something else and when I pointed to our bedroom she knew exactly what was going to happen.

We walked in, she pulled everything down, got across my lap and had no excuse for not have the things done that I wanted done.  That was a good thing on her part because it shorten the spanked considerably.  After her spanking she got on her knees on the bed and I took her from behind as I gazed at her freshly spanked red bottom.  

All in all yesterday ended very well for me. 

TO MY WONDERFUL WIFE!

Happy Birthday!

Wow!  The first thing I thought of when I saw this is my wife.  

She's my candy girl.  Always ready and willing for me to have her when I want her.  Like most husbands I want to give her everything but unlike most wives she doesn't ask for much.  She's nurturing, passionate, caring and loving.  She gives without expecting anything in return and works to waste nothing. 

She had one of those dreadful days this week that comes around once a year, her birthday.  I didn't want to announce it on her actual birthday so I'm doing it today.  This is not only my favorite position but it's her's as well.  I'm doing something for her today that may seem trivial to many but I know she appreciates it.  It's been a slow economic recovery for the U.S. and we're still feeling the squeeze financially too.

She has been so supportive toward my endeavors that some days I wake up and can't believe she belongs to me and I belong to her.  I love her with every breath I take and every move she makes. 

Where have all the real men gone?

For someone of my generation John Wayne is one of the first men you think about when you think of a Man.  There's no doubt in my mind that Wayne was a spanker.  You can see that in so many of his movies.  In his later years of movie making he was the producer so he had a huge say in how and what was done and said.  

Movies are movies of course and no matter how you try to make them as real as possible they're still movies.  Still, John Wayne worked at conveying honorable attributes a man should have in his roles.

Recently my wife and I had a conversation about how we met and what attracted us to each other.  At the time we met neither of us were shopping for a mate or companion.  My wife very much liked the idea that I was Dominant but not forceful.  I'm an Alpha male who leads and doesn't drag or try to force others to follow.  Many Dominant men have NO sense of humor either.  They can't tell a joke or take one.  I'm not that way.  

Those I care about simply must enjoy life.  I want to see them laugh at least a few times in a day.  Laughter is so healthy for a person.  If you can't laugh there must be something wrong.

I love the fact that my wife has a healthy amount of independence and can take care of things.  She recently took a small trip using our truck and actually checked the oil when she arrived at her destination.  She bought oil, climbed in the engine compartment (I'd like to think her ass was sticking proudly in the air, but that's me) and put oil in the truck.  She is by no means helpless.  However, a quality that attracted me to her was that she wasn't helpless but saw her submission to her man as simply natural and proper.

Throughout my day I'm always observing how others are.  I can be at the check out register pretty much anywhere and tell you if the woman at the register is Dominant or submissive, same as I can with men.

What I find somewhat sad today is that there seems to be much confusion regarding a person's role in the world or relationships.  The T.V. and movies, even commercials, send out messages to people about how they should and shouldn't be.  In the end we basically have to make that choice.  I had to.  One day I woke up and said, "By damn I'm a spanker and I'm not going to hide that fact anymore."

A spanked wife is a happy wife.

A spanked wife is a happy wife.  I have no doubt there are many who wouldn't understand that sentence.  But those wives out there who are loved by their husbands, and spanked by their husbands, understand the dynamics.

If there's something my wife knows she shouldn't be doing and keeps getting away with it then she begins to feel that I don't care or love her.  If I did care and love her then I'd take care of her behavior.  For those in the lifestyle it makes perfect sense but for others it's strange.  From time to time I even get email from spankee's who are only into spanking because they LIKE it or use it as stress release.  My answer to them is, "Good for you."

A Spanked Wife is a Happy Husband.

A Healthy fear of Confession!

There's something healthy about the fear of confession when your adult daughter calls with the desire to tell you about something she did and she's pretty sure she's going to be in trouble for it.

In trouble for it, even though she's 21, means that she's pretty sure that telling me means she's risking the chance of getting her bare bottom spanked.

Even though a spanking is a clear possibility she feels compelled to clear her conscience and let the chips fall where they may.

In my opinion the world would be a much better place there were more with that healthy fear of confession.